Early in my married life, my wife and I were out of state attending the funeral of my wife’s grandmother.  One evening, I came in from the cold to find that an old flame of my wife’s was there to pay his respects.

I was intimidated but didn’t want to show it.  What did I do?  I did what any self respecting, muscularly-challenged man would do.  I kept my bulky coat on so that I looked more muscular, walking around like Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor did in “Stir Crazy” and saying, “Uh huh!  I’m bad!  I’m tough!  I can kick anybody’s butt!”

My in-laws thought I was nuts.  So did my wife.  Actually, it was actually my inner-Captain Super and Bobby Jo Trouble oozing out.

For those of you who weren’t around during the Wallace and Ladmo years, Captain Super and the lesser seen Bobby Jo Trouble were characters played by the multi-talented Pat McMahon. 

Captain Super a “super hero” with virtually no strength and would “fly” into our TV screens to the recorded sounds of a fighter jet fly-by.  Under his uniform, he clearly wore football shoulder pads to give the appearance of being muscular.  To add to the Super Man knock-off look, he wore red tights, a blue cape, a star-spangled sash for his belt and the outline of a mask that hid very little. 

Through the years, Captain Super would attempt to prove his alleged super human strength by trying to tear in half the smallest of phone books or punch his way through paper bags, always to no avail.  He couldn’t back up his carefully crafted image. 

Bobby Jo Trouble was sort of the antithesis of Captain Super but came across equally as week.  He would try to talk like a street tough hooligan but usually found himself roughed up by senior citizens and others.

In Texas we call that “All hat and no cattle!”

We all have Bobby Jo Trouble and Captain Super-like qualities that suppress our inner Ladmo.  We will occasionally spout off some great thing that we can do, never expecting to have our bluff called and be expected to deliver. 

We see this when resumes are submitted for jobs and, after interviewing the candidates wondered why they didn’t include “regularly walks on water” among skills that they claimed they had but didn’t. 

A lot of us have worked on projects with people who spent an awful lot of time TALKING about what they have done, and could do, but never once contributed to the successful completion of the project.

This and other examples of self-hype inhibit us from unleashing our inner Ladmo.  By presenting fronts and wearing masks that hide very little, we build walls and barriers around us that no one can or would want to penetrate.  Even more tragic, we spend more time wearing our Captain Super facade and making our capes look like their blowing in the wind instead of dealing with our flaws for the betterment of ourselves and enriching the lives of those around us.

In order to find our inner Ladmo, we must tear off the wimpy masks of fakery, insincerity and tough guy/girl images and not be afraid to let people see the “real” us, warts, shoulder pads and all.  It’s a painful but necessary thing to do in order to reach our inner L.

I had to change certain thoughts and behavior in order to quash my inner Captain Super so that my inner Ladmo could prevail. 

I quit trying to hopelessly tear up the rule books of life and realize I just didn’t have the strength to change something that was unchangeable.  I quit trying to appear as though I could fly high through life and, instead, enjoyed the leisurely walk and stopped to smell a rose or two along the way.  In going to church, or in discussing religion with others, I left my Messiah costume at home with the realization that, despite my efforts to convince people, no one believed that I could walk on the waters of life.

When faced with opportunities to toot my own horn, I found it much more gratifying to zip my lips and let others do the tootin’ if they felt so inclined.  I ultimately found it much more enjoyable to brag about others.

By being real with others and ourselves, our inner Ladmo will come flying in and crashing through the walls of fakery like . . . like . . . like Captain Super wish he could! 

Besides, wearing bulky coats in well heated rooms can make ex-boyfriends think that you’re sweating out of nervousness.  I’m just sayin’.

Next, we deal with our inner Mr. Grudgemeyer.