As you fellow Baby Boomers already know, our lives have been filled with choices, good and bad, as well as with lots of questions “why”.  I’m sure that I’m the only one who wishes that they could go back and change the choices I’ve made.  Business choices. Friend choices. Purchase choices. Word choices.  Clothing choices (I’m currently wondering why on EARTH I chose this butt ugly shirt I’m wearing right now).  Some of you may have made bad relationship choices over which you’re still feeling some pain. 

I’d submit to you that some choices, while bad and certainly not ones to be repeated, are actually purposeful in making us a better “us”.  I’ve certainly found this to be true in my case.  Let me share a particular experience of mine with you.

Many moons ago, I went into business with a partner that I really didn’t know (I know, stupid, huh?).  Within seven months of what was promising to be a very successful enterprise, my partner and I had a painful parting of the ways.  I won’t bore you with the details as you would only be getting my side of the story.  The net/net of it all is that my business dreams were cruelly destroyed; friendships that I thought were strong turned out to be based on my financial standing; the character of both my lovely wife and I were maligned; we were about a nickel away from bankruptcy and lots of pain, bitterness and loneliness permeated our life.  I can honestly say that, to date, those were the darkest days of my life and I spent a lot of time asking God, “Why?”

I spent a lot of time kicking myself in the butt over my decision to go into business with a stranger (I only thought I knew him) and, having gone into business with said stranger, bestowing way to much trust in them.  I felt violated, betrayed and really, really stupid.  While I was never suicidal, I definitely didn’t want to live.

Well, over time, we recovered vocationally, financially and emotionally.  While my confidence in my fellow man remains a little shaky, my faith in God and my approach to dealing with the “opportunities” presented to me are much more positive and affective - so much so that I often say that while I would never want to relive those days again, I wouldn’t trade the experiences and the lessons learned for anything in the world. 

Since those dark days, I again experienced job loss and betrayal.  While my previous question of “why” would have been rooted in anger and anxiety, the question became based on the premise of what I was supposed to learn from the challenges in order to be a better me.  Did I feel anxiety?  What do you think?  Of course – I’m somewhat human, you know?  However, I have learned, and am still learning, to choose better methods to attack the problem and to approach my days.  Don’t get me wrong.  I didn’t wear Pollyannaish rose colored glasses and positively think my way into some new reality.  However, I did choose to work hard at solving the problems I faced and do so with a more positive attitude instead of anticipating impending doom.

In other words, to use a line that Jim Morrison sang in The Crystal Ship, “ . . . I’d rather fly . . .”