Guys, if you’ve read the last couple of pieces I’ve written, you will know that I’ve focused on how we view and treat the love of our lives.  Feedback has been pretty good – surprisingly mostly from men. 

Go figure.

As I’ve said before, I don’t consider myself an expert on marriage or wives.  My lovely first and only wife will certainly attest to that.  I’m merely a man fumbling his way through life, marriage and parenthood, trying to learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of others.  However, it’s not enough to just learn from mistakes, I’ve got to apply what I’ve learned if those lessons are going to be worth a darn.

I’ve learned that marriage isn’t 50/50.  It’s 100/100.  You can’t enter into a marriage and keep half of yourself to yourself.  Your spouse deserves all of you.

I’ve learned that it’s best to put the needs and, yes, even the wants of my wife first.  We joke that if mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.  While I agree with that, I believe that there’s much more to that than just keeping “mamma happy”.  I find that I am much happier making sure that my wife is happy and I do so without any fear or paranoia that she’s “taking advantage” of me.  It just doesn’t work that way.

I’ve learned that the more I invest into my marriage, the more there is to love and marvel at.  It’s almost like nuclear energy – it just feeds on itself in a very positive way.

I’ve learned that I’m not perfect and neither is my wife and that is perfectly okay and normal.  Through our imperfections, our relationship actually grows stronger.  I’ve made some seriously bad blunders during our almost 31 years of marriage.  Such blunders as bad financial and career decisions that had a serious impact on the family budget; comments made without really thinking about what I was saying and learning that they were hurtful; and missed opportunities that would have had dramatic and positive impacts on our lives.  And, yet, my lovely wife has stayed right by my side.

I’ve learned that, because I’ve learned and am applying the lessons above, our marriage can withstand many, many storms.  Much weaker (and fewer) storms have destroyed marriages all around us.  I hate to see a marriage break up but, in many of the divorces I’ve observed, many of them were preventable.  All that was needed was one or both of the spouses investing more of their self into the other.

In a world of failing investments, I can honestly say that my investment into my wife and our marriage has reaped returns that can’t be calculated. By making that investment, my wife is solidly by my side and that, my friends, gives me a joy that lasts forever.